Driving for Dollars

At first my husband and his family could not make heads or tails of my lifestyle. I am the only musician amongst “nine to fivers.” Showing up at family events in long black and not seeming to notice that everyone else is wearing jeans and T-shirts was odd for them. Leaving in the middle of an event or arriving late is also common. I had to teach my husband how to decipher my date book so he could tell what I was doing on any given day. I write FREE on the days that I plan on not taking any work. (Unless something really good domes up.) He still can’t figure it all out after 7 years. Often non-musicians will ask, “What are you doing on Saturday?” I usually have to say that I don’t really remember, I have to look at my book. My husband didn’t believe me after our first date and thought I was trying to get rid of him.

Also, to stay sane with all the phone calls and e-mails, I have my own business line. I don’t think the average person deals with the volume of calls or the number and variety of people I speak with during any given week. Wedding clients, personnel managers, students and fellow musicians. I am the Orchestra Committee Chair of two orchestras and a ROPA delegate, all of which requires a great communications efforts.

One of the hard things was getting his family to understand that with me on board, they had to plan events sooner. They would normally wait until the week before. They found it hard to grasp that I book dates sometimes a year in advance, and I need to know about dates I should block out for family activities as soon as possible. They are learning. We are planning in February for a family reunion to take place in July. Also, for my last birthday in March, they got us all concert tickets. My schedule was secretly checked and the concert tickets were purchased. The concert was in mid November.

One of the hard things is not being able to relax over supper at the end of the day. I try to leave a 45 minute window between teaching and going to a rehearsal in the evening. If a student is late or needs a little extra help then your 45 minutes is down to 35, and then 25, and then you have to grab dinner and run again. Some days it is not possible at all and you run from teaching directly to the concert hall. You have to be “On” until 10PM and then drive home after a full day. I don’t work every week so I really enjoy having a SLOW relaxed dinner and a quiet evening at home. I usually do not answer my business line on these evenings.

I get the feeling that there are more musician couples that opt not to have children than in the general population. I don’t have children and for those musicians that do, I can’t imagine how you do it. Congratulations!!