Master’s degree orchestral conducting student Samuel Pang will give his first public performance at Eastman this Monday, October 26, conducting Mozart’s Divertimento K. 136 with the Eastman School Symphony Orchestra. Sam received a degree in viola performance at Eastman, taught briefly in Hong Kong, and returned to Eastman, this time to study conducting. He explains why
By Sam Pang
I’ve always wanted to be a musician, but all along I’ve been searching for two things: my best instincts as a musician, and my purpose of being a musician.
Growing up, I had been blessed with the opportunities of learning various instruments, many of which I was decent at, but they just never felt like my mother tongue to me.
Even on the viola, with which I did win an Eastman concerto competition–thanks to Professor Rodland’s patience and guidance, I simply felt that the instrument never connected to the deepest part of me. Sure enough, playing viola concertos with an orchestra felt great, giving viola recitals or playing in string quartets also felt great, but the satisfaction of these experiences never sunk to my gut the way I imagined. I simply felt that the viola never became part of my body the way it does for many others. So I decided to explore other options.
I tried singing for a while, since that was the one instrument that truly came from within me, but I couldn’t quite find the fluency in expressing myself with my voice either. Yet as I continued to search for a fluent channel to express my musical self, I gradually realized how satisfying it was when I could “will” music in my head, translate the music through my body language, and influence someone else to deliver what was in my head.
The process sounds more disconnected with the actual music than playing an instrument, since being the conductor, I also become the only person on stage that doesn’t make a single sound, but the fact that you can make someone connect with music in a certain way because of who you “are” gives me much greater satisfaction that making the actual sounds myself.
So as I embark on this new journey as a conductor, I very much look forward to refining my craft, so that I may connect with many more people with greater fluency in expressing my musical self. I hope to share the joy of music making with you in this very first performance of mine as a conducting student!